Friday, 12 July, 2002 @ 2.59pm GMT
Posted by Floorgasm
I adore this girl
- I wonder if she'll have my babies? I would make her dance for me all day long.
Thursday, 11 July, 2002 @ 2.34am GMT
Posted by Aneurin
The Incest Board
Well, this must be the most appalling thing I've ever seen on the internet, but bear with me after I tell you that this site is called www.incestboard.com
, even though you may feel you know where this piece is going. Now, I'm no prude, and I have no problem with people using the internet for such purposes, in fact it's the best place for it. No, what is truly shocking is the shameless audacity of these 'keep it in the family' types talking about incest as if it were like talking about your holidays. Choice quotes from the message board include:
"We want a family orgy. Any suggestions how?"
"I'M 20 AND MY SIS IS 18. SHE IS VERY SEXY BUT INACTIVE TOWARDS SXE. I WANT TO ACTIVATE HER TOWARDS SEX. MEAN TO SAY I WANT TO FUCK HER. SO I WANT TO SEDUCE HER WTIHOUT BEING SO OBVIOUS. TELL ME THE TRICKS SO THAT I CAN DO."
One poster helpfully suggests the Bible promotes incest as Adam and Eve's kids must have had sex as well as Noah's family. He then goes on to state, rather proudly that: "In my family tree incest has only happened twice in 340 years." How very restrained of them.
However the finest moment this site has to offer is when a single dad going by the name 'Hot Rod' describes the seduction of his 14-year-old daughter in great detail before revealing:
"I stood up with her and she pulled my shorts down and told me to sit down on the sofa and she got on top of me and lowered herself down onto my penis and we had sex for half hour and I cum inside her. my question is... Have I done the correct thing by doing all this with my 14 year old daughter?"
You sure have, pops! Someone give that guy a medal for even asking.
Next week: Scat Cafe
Thursday, 11 July, 2002 @ 1.54am GMT
Posted by Seke
Big Brother update
Just when I thought I knew exactly what I was going to write for my update this week, something else came along to blow it out of the water.
Well Adele left the Big Brother house last week and even though I thought she might, I wasn't expecting her to get over a million votes more than Jade. Neither was I expecting the reception she got when she left the house. No sooner had she left then the booing and hissing started and I'm not quite sure why, but I felt really uncomfortable about it, watching Davina dragging a bewildered Adele to the safety of the studio. I didn't feel sorry for her for long though after some of the things she said when she got there. She'll live.
Tim - I think a lot of people are in two minds about him, but I know exactly what I think. He's a spoilt twat. I mean, he knows what Big Brother is all about yet he still thinks the world owes him. I blame the parents, I've got no problem with people having money, but you gotta teach your kids that they need to fend for themselves. I mean how old is this guy? I ask this because of the very unconvincing tantrum which followed the viewing of family messages. Oi ginga! Grow up or get out!
I couldn't possibly leave this update without mention of Jade's little exposť. The poor lass got nekkid because she did extremely badly in a drinking game. If you ask me she would have done badly had they been drinking or not.
Alex however is the perfect comedy drunk, he fell over the sofa, slept in the sink and yelled at himself in the bathroom, he deserves to be in the final 3 methinks.
With Kate and PJ up for eviction, my choice is clear. PJ is an opinionated bore and Kate is such good fun she has really started coming out of herself. Besides, the housemates have already indicated that Jade being the only girl in the house would be a very bad idea.
My tip for the big £70k? Johnny or Kate.
Wednesday, 10 July, 2002 @ 11.36pm GMT
Posted by Floorgasm
Lucy Clarkson has been named favourite female in Loaded magazine and appears in the August edition (out now).
Pet parrot saves owner from fire
A Hongkong businessman was saved from being killed in a fire in his home when his parrot woke him up from his sleep. Unfortunately, the parrot died in the fire. Mr Heung Wah Bor, who is in the film-making business, was awakened early on Friday morning by his parrot's screams. Only then did he realise his bedroom was on fire.
When he could not activate his fire extinguisher, he had no choice but to escape from his apartment. In his hurry, he did not take with him any of his belongings, including his parrot.
There's gratitude for you. Pet saves owner, owner gets his own sorry arse out the door and leaves pet to burn to death.
Europe is big on breasts. The Japanese prefer thighs, dark and gamey ones. Feet are a bit of a fetish in China. Gizzards go to Russia. But smooth, damp slabs of white flesh are what we British buy when we want chicken. That leaves the carcasses, and skin, mountains and mountains of it - pale, flaccid, pimply, raw, ripped off by 100,000 shift workers' hands, from Thailand to Brazil, from the Netherlands to Norfolk. The skin goes around the world for chicken nuggets.
I am watching an army of small, perfectly formed nuggets march along a conveyor belt, with manufacturer Gary Stiles, at his factory in Wiltshire. He has spent his life in the meat trade. At one end of the factory line is a pulp of half-frozen meat and skin in a giant stainless-steel hopper. Minced and mixed beyond recognition, it is being extruded through a small tube on to metal plates. These press it into pale pink nugget shapes which then trundle on down the belt. Through a dust bath of flour and seasoning they go, before being lowered under a sheet of constantly pouring batter. Then on in juddering formation through a tray of scattered breadcrumbs and into a vast vat of boiling oil for 30 seconds.
B-b-but they're so delicious. Although I wouldn't want to be eating nuggets full of mechanically recovered meat with recycled pet food in them. If I want to shove horse meat down my gregory peck, I'll nip over to France, kthx.
Monday, 8 July, 2002 @ 11.08pm GMT
Posted by Floorgasm
messages some dude thinking he's her boyfriend, he claims he's not but she's not having any of it. Funny shit.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh what is wrong with u??
dys4iK: 'cause i'm in hard drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u never did drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u said u quit
dys4iK: I lied.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u were lying?
dys4iK: in fact,
dys4iK: I could be on drugs,
dys4iK: _right now)_
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y do u always pull this shit
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur goin off to osu next year
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur doin drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal
dys4iK: drugs and college.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive that
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u ever call tracy
dys4iK: I've gotta go fuck my sister now.
dys4iK: back in a bit.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and explaoin to her ur stayin with me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur sister is only 8
dys4iK: oh, hey, right.
Read the full transcript
. Another guy decides to do a follow-up