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Thursday, 1 August, 2002 @ 4.02am GMT
Posted by Aneurin
24 Countdown - 8pm

After the excitement of last week's episode, 8pm, inevitably, was simply a case of advancing the plot from A to B (or rather 8pm to 9pm). But hey! Dennis Hopper's here, and his 'Serbian' accent is very funny indeed: "Ve may need heem az zay bargaining sheep".

Dennis and Kiefer in their bad movie days
Dennis and Kiefer in their bad movie days

On a less humourous note, Lou Diamond Phillips is no longer in 24, shot by the Drazens. A shame, because his arguments with Kiefer Sutherland were most entertaining. So what happened? Well, the Drazen's broke into the prison and easily overran the guards; not surprising seeing as there were only three guards for the entire place. Jack attempted to escape by using Victor Drazen as a hostage, but when they threatened to kill Jack's old 'Young Guns' pal Lou Diamond, he surrendered. Of course, Lou Diamond did the whole tough-guy, "don't listen to them" bit, and once Jack surrendered, they immediately shot him. Damn those sneaky, lying terrorists!

Having captured Jack, Drazen makes the fatal Bond-villain mistake of failing to shoot him when he had the chance, allowing his minions to distract him with some lame excuses again, and they take him along as a hostage.

Melanie and Kim bonding in prison
Melanie and Kim bonding in prison

Back in Los Angeles, Kim is in prison, and finds herself in further trouble when Melanie (Rick's girlfriend? Sister?) tells the cops she's a bad 'un. Rich kid Kim gives the alledgedly street-smart Melanie a telling off and then helps her out when the cops think Melanie was smoking weed. Thus, having found new respect for each other, Melanie tells the police the truth and they let Kim go. All this happens in about 30 minutes, so it would seem Melanie is easily persuaded.

Another new development, in the 100mph universe of 24, was the sudden interest in Senator Palmer from one of his (female) aides. Whilst it is true that Palmer has been having second thoughts about his marriage, that was only about an hour and a half ago. This girl is horny as a dog, and she certainly works fast. Maybe they'll work in a Clinton-style sex scandal plot, although Palmer's having none of it at the moment.

Couldn't find a picture of Patty the aide, so here's a bonus shot of Melanie
Couldn't find a picture of Patty the aide, so here's a bonus shot of Melanie

Anyway, the 'Special Forces' are sent in by CTU to kill everyone in the prison, but turn out to be shockingly inept and after an extremely slow search of the facility, find the Drazens, with Jack, have long gone. Eventually, they find the Drazens have managed to cut a hole in the wall and escape through a pipe, but rather than go around, and catch the Drazens at the other end, they decide to disarm the laser mines in the pipe - a job that will take 30 minutes. Perhaps they meant 'special' in the 'nice-word-for-retarded' sense.

8:55pm and Kim is on her way to CTU in a police car. Can you tell what happens next? After some loaded dialogue along the lines of "I love you, mom" and "I'll see you soon, honey," the police car is rammed and Kalamity Kim is kidnapped. Again.

Stupid things this episode: A close call between Victor Drazen's pantomime villain accent and Kim's entirely predictable re-capture.

Top 10 reccuring events in 24:
(it would have been 24 but I can't think of that many and I'm sure you don't want to read that many)
1. Palmer gives some righteous speech to his wife, advisors or one of his children, immediately following...
2. ...Palmer's wife, advisors or children conspiring behind his back, with some lame scheme that will inevitably rebound on him.
3. Jack clashes with some figure of authority, usually as a result of...
4. ...Jack breaking the law in order to pursue his mission. By this stage, it really doesn't matter if he rescues his family or not, Dad's going away for a very long time.
5. Jack is punched, thrown, blown-up or manhandled in some other way. Yet the cuts and bruises never last very long.
6. Kim Bauer somehow gets into trouble. Whether it's the law, terrorists, or comedy 'drug-dealers'.
7. Teri Bauer whimpers about something or other. You'd think being married to Jack, she'd be used to his secret agent antics by now.
8. Tony Almeida's stupid stuck-on chin fluff fails to fall off and drop into his coffee.
9. Keith Palmer gives someone his 'big man' act, despite being around 4 feet tall. Wutchoo talking about Senator?
10. Jack travels to various places within Los Angeles, but it never takes him more than 15 minutes to get anywhere.

Tuesday, 30 July, 2002 @ 12.49am GMT
Posted by Aneurin
Save Karyn

Would you help Karyn? So, I imagine that this girl, Karyn, is none too popular. In short, it seems what she has done is somehow accumulate over $20,000 worth of credit card debt. However, Karyn has decided against the traditional online methods of earning extra cash. No, Karyn has instead taken the rather unique step of simply asking for the money. Upfront. With nothing in return. Truly, her neck is constructed only of the finest brass. Yet I find myself siding not with those who would seek to denigrate Karyn and instead want to show her as an example of all that is great about this world.

My name is Karyn, I'm really nice, and I'm asking for your help!

Now who could begrudge that? After all, what is worse, appealing to the public's charity and good nature, or the pernicious 'enterprise' of showing your tits for 'subscriptions' to members only areas or DVDs from an wishlist?

I wouldn't but that shouldn't stop you

Indeed, I would bet that the majority of the ire being generated about this site has more to do with Karyn's circumventing of this false economy. Don't get me wrong; everyone who gives this girl money is an idiot. But as the old saying goes, 'never give a sucker an even break'.

N.B. I am not Karyn, and don't know her. However donations to my own fund are most welcome.

Next week: Touch Of Midnight

Extra Bonus Big Brother Finale Special! Homoerotic BB Fan Fiction

For those of us firmly at the forefront of the critical zeitgeist, Big Brother 3 is already a fading memory. The former housemates will have soon made their fawning appearances on So Graham Norton, one will have had a stillborn pop career, more than one will have been to the tabloids promising the 'truth' about what went on in the Big Brother house. For some of the most 'devoted' fans, this will not be enough and a yearning void will appear as they wonder what they will ever talk about again. Well, for these people there's Homoerotic Big Brother Fan Fiction, featuring your favourite gay couple, Tim and Alex! Really, if the world did not need Big Brother 3, then the needlessness of this site cannot be measured with earthly tools.

- That's what's great about you, I've finally found someone who's like me, Tim said with a big smile.
- Maybe I should walk out, if you're the one who's voted out.
- NO! NEVER! Alex, I can swear you will win this game! You're a thousand more time brighter than these loosers!
- Really?
- Oh yeah! Not to mention you're the most attractive person in here, no doubt.
- think I'm attractive?????
- Of course you are. Would you be a model if you were ugly?
- No, it's not what I was trying to say. I'm just're a guy and you...

* * *

- Ahhh...Tiiimmm...Tiiimmm...I'm cuuuummiiing, Alex couldn't resist to moan. Spasms shook Alex's whole body, expulsing eight shorts jets of hot cum inside Tim's mouth. Both men, sweaty, caught up their breathes before Alex ordered Tim to stand up in front of him.
- Turn man, I want your ass facing me.

* * * think I'm attractive????? As Alex's cock delicately entered between his asscheeks, Tim thought that no matter if he or Alex left at the end of the week, their stay in the Big Brother house was only the beginning of their relationship...

Actually though, the most disconcerting thing about this site is not that it exists, but that someone actually sat down and took the time to write this and, furthermore, thought it fit for human consumption. Somebody. Anybody. It could be your neighbour, it could be your friend. It could be that person at work who knows just a little too much about each of the (former) housemates and has updates sent to their mobile phone - you know the type. Oh well, at least it's over now. Until next year...

Sunday, 28 July, 2002 @ 3.25pm GMT
Posted by Floorgasm
Is it a ghost?
Is it a ghost?

If you don't believe in ghosts, here is something that may change your mind. A woman saw something strange while working at an Oklahoma car impound lot earlier this month. She saw a figure circling around, and it was caught on a surveillance tape.

The woman told another worker to check it out, but that person found nobody there. Three vehicles on the lot that night where involved in fatal accidents.

A paranormal investigator says its possible the mysterious figure could have been one of those spirits, searching for its car.

Source: ABC 30

Watch the video - is it really a ghost or just someone wandering around the car impound wearing a white cloak? You decide...

Women of Enron nudes



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